A trip for a friend

...and then we went to Utah. 

A close friend lost her battle with breast cancer.  Sometimes life just isn't fair and you have to accept it, with faith.

Dawn Winegar made Ohio totally worth it.  Friends can do that, they can single-handedly change someones situation.  In the recent General Conference, President Uctdorf said,

"In our day it is easy to merely pretend to spend time with others. With the click of a mouse, we can “connect” with thousands of “friends” without ever having to face a single one of them. Technology can be a wonderful thing, and it is very useful when we cannot be near our loved ones. My wife and I live far away from precious family members; we know how that is. However, I believe that we are not headed in the right direction, individually and as a society, when we connect with family or friends mostly by reposting humorous pictures, forwarding trivial things, or linking our loved ones to sites on the Internet. I suppose there is a place for this kind of activity, but how much time are we willing to spend on it? If we fail to give our best personal self and undivided time to those who are truly important to us, one day we will regret it."

Dawn was so good at connecting with people and cultivating meaning friendships and relationships.  What a gift.


We braved early mom hood together, trying to figure everything out and constantly bouncing ideas off of each other as to why the kids weren't napping, what we should feed them, new tips and tricks to make it through sacrament meeting, what toys to try out and so on.  We just matched and it was a blast. 

Our friendship was only further cemented by the fact that our kids were inseparable.  Thomas and Madeleine, since they met at 6 months, have had an incredible connection that I can honestly say Madeleine has had with no one else. 

After going back and forth, Spencer and I decided to bring the kids with us out to Utah.  I wasn't about to do a 24 hour turnaround with them so Spencer did the 24 hour trip while the kids and I stayed for a week. 

We got home from our Cape Cod trip at 9pm and then woke up at 3am to head to the airport.  The kids must have known it was an important trip because they were amazing travelers.  Amazing.  They slept, rested, and quietly played on both flights which was such a blessing because I really would have lost it on all fronts if anything was added to the mix.  It was a fragile trip.

I was asked to give a prayer at the funeral, which was an honor to be asked as it was planned far in advance, but when the time came I dreaded it.  I could hardly keep it together just talking about it to someone, how on earth was I supposed to compose myself in front of so many people?  I have never dreaded a public speaking moment as much as I did this one.  Have you ever prayed for a prayer?  I have. 

A personal miracle, I held it together long enough to say the prayer and start walking back to my seat.  Right when I sat down I lost it - and that's about the story for the rest of the funeral.  It just hit too close to home.  She left behind an incredible husband and two young boys, ages 4 and 1. 

That being said, it was an incredible funeral.  The spirit was so strong that you just didn't want to leave at the end.  Regardless of overwhelming emotions, there was absolute peace. There is peace and power in knowledge of what happens after we die and understanding the purpose and proper place of death in the eternal spectrum.

For months, both Madeleine and Henry, in every single prayer, have been praying for Thomas' mom to get better.  Many times it's all that was said in the prayer and that was fine with us.  When we told Madeleine the news, she was perplexed, but then responded, "so she's better!  the prayers worked!  she's just in heaven now waiting for Colby, Thomas and Samuel!"

"becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love..." Mosiah 3:19

Thank goodness for children.  After a day full of funeral-related services and events, we ended the day with a luncheon back at the church.  Throughout the day, I had numerous people, people I had never met, come up to me and ask if I was Madeleine's mom.  We called our babysitter, Grandpa Harding, and had him wake the kids up from naps and bring them down to the church.  Best decision of the trip.  Madeleine and Thomas were once again reunited. 

Thomas in his dapper suit and Madeleine in her street clothes ran around as though this day was like any other.  The kids looked through pictures on our phones of them playing together when they were younger, during our 'Ohio days', made numerous trips to the dessert table to see just home many pieces of cake they could get, they ran under tables screaming, squealing and laughing.  It was a shining moment of the day for everyone there.  A fresh and much needed reminder of joy.  Innocent, pure joy.

Later in the week, we got together with Thomas again and went to the aquarium.  Same thing.  New meaning to the expression two peas in a pod. Although they did talk on the phone, they hadn't seen each other in a little over a year and literally picked up where they left off. 

It was sheer happiness to see and I'm sure Dawn felt the same way.  We remember Dawn by being a better friend, wife, mother and person.  She was amazing and is amazing.  The prayers for Thomas' family continue in this household, but have changed slightly.  Madeleine now prays that "Thomas' mom can wait for her family in heaven" and that "Colby, Thomas, and Samuel won't miss their mom too much while she's in heaven waiting."

Many, many questions have come from my crazy inquisitive 3 year-old and I am so grateful that I am able to confidently answer those questions.  I know that their family will be together again because of the blessings of the temple, made possible through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  While Madeleine may not understand everything, she does understand the concept of seeing someone again.  The restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is true.  

Thomas has clearly inherited the gift from his mom to cultivate friendships, and Madeleine has been a lucky recipient.  We're hoping this friendship lasts a long, long time.